Are Boudoir Photos Worth It?
Talk about a loaded question. So, let’s dig into it.
Of course, as a boudoir photographer, I’m biased, right? So, yes, I’m going to vehemently advocate for boudoir sessions as a *must have* experience. But let’s go past that.. I’m going to be a bit vulnerable here and share my own thought processes before, during and after the boudoir experiences that I’ve personally invested in (because we practice what we preach around here).
I recently stumbled upon a blog entry I wrote at 22, shortly after receiving a set of images back from just plain old anniversary pictures with my husband. The title? “Gotta face it. I’m FAT.” At the time, this was crushing. I had worked SO hard to get down to my goal weight and had finally achieved it – only to have my life flipped over. After a ridiculous amount of steroids, I gained a lot of weight. Those steroids saved my life, but they left their mark, too. I was barely functional, mostly paralyzed and drugged up to a point where I didn’t know where one day ended and another began. But I wasn’t focused on the fact that by some miracle I was still breathing. I was focused on my weight. Now, I can look back at these images and see how lucky I was (and am). The man standing beside me then is the man that stands beside me now. He never waivered. He does everything he can to lighten my load, to keep me laughing, to remind me that even when everything is crumbling around us, I am never alone.
A few months later, an amazing friend asked me to sit for her as a model so she could expand her boudoir portfolio and I begrudgingly accepted (Yup, I was THAT client). I was excited but terrified. Confident in her ability, crippled by anxiety that the same fat girl (me) would ruin these pictures, too, and I wouldn’t be ok after seeing them. If I didn’t look good in regular photos, what made me think being half naked was going to make it better? Anyone with common sense would have run at that point, but I pushed past my insecurities and just let her work her magic.
When I got those images back, I cried so hard. But not from disgust, but rather, from relief. The photos were GOOD. Somehow, my amazing friend managed to wrangle and pose and create with a body that, at the time, I couldn’t possibly imagine as attractive. Now, I realize just how fatphobic and awful I was being to myself, but at the time, I wasn’t surrounded by voices that told me my body/weight didn’t dictate my value. Unless you actively curate those voices, you probably won’t hear them either.
This was the beginning of my mental transformation. It’s been a long road, so I don’t want you to think that I’m attributing everything to this one event. But I do consider it a catalyst. It was the moment I saw beyond my body. It was the first time I looked at professional photos and thought, “DAMN. I look GOOD.”
So, fast forward 10 years. Yes, an entire decade. (Don’t mind me while I cry into my pillow about getting old, even though I’m not-so-secretly in love with who I am today.)
I’ve been photographed a couple more times, but only a few of them were hired. Photographers will often trade for services, so there’d been a handful of occasions where that occurred. This year, I made the conscious effort to look at someone’s portfolio and book them as a real, bonafide client. No discounts, no tradesies, just straight up hired. To top it off, I requested minimal retouching. And let me tell you what. I CHERISH these images. I see myself so differently after seeing them. The experience as a whole is one I’ll never forget and it was worth. every. damn. penny. I saw the advantage of pre-paying for my session first hand and started implementing it in my own business. To be able to show up to your session and not have to think about the financial aspect at all because it’s ALREADY paid for creates a whole other level of luxury. You just waltz in, get pampered by an incredible styling team, and feel like a movie star while a photographer directs you.
Let me show you the difference (and why being photographed throughout your life is needed, but that’s a different topic for a different day).
Here’s 23 year old Manda. Sweet, super shy about her body.
Here’s 33 year old Manda. She doesn’t love her body every day, but she’s also stopped caring about her body so much. It’s an amazing vessel that has survived hell and should be celebrated.
Wild, right? Those are two completely different people and while I love younger me, I’m hella proud to be current me.
So, why open up like this? Why tell you this piece of my history?
Because I see YOU. I see you lurking in our Facebook group. I see you reading the newsletter. I see you questioning your value. (Not like physically see because that would be creepy, but I picture it and I know it’s happening, because I’ve done it myself and we are 100% trained from a young age to hide). You deserve better. You deserve to be SEEN. You deserve to hold your head high and feel like a badass. I want to help you get there. Even if that’s just by proximity. You are welcome in my group whether you have worked with me before, plan to work with me in the future or just need a safe space to create community and friends going through the exact same shit. I hope I’ll see you in there. I hope through being connected to me and my community that you will feel empowered. And hey, if you hire me to take photos of you? Bonus.
You. Are. Loved. You’re important. And you’ve got a great ass.
xoxo,
Manda
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